What are life’s defining moments, and are they chosen for us or by us? This is a question I have often asked in recent times, and those of you who may have had similar inquiries will most likely be unsurprised at hearing that the answers seem elusive.

Are life’s defining moments inherently spiritual or does it depend on the moment itself and our own belief system? For me, the preeminent question within the question itself would be, what do the moments define? If they remind us of our own mortality and compel us to see life less as the random series of events it may often seem to be and more of a series of circumstances along a path of purpose, then they define not only moments but life itself.

I have often said that it’s the moments in life that, in the end, we will remember most vividly, but I overlooked an important caveat when I made such a declaration. Mere moments, random moments, moments like any other will rarely be remembered. Rather, it will be the moments that changed everything in our lives in a split second, for better or for worse, that will leave behind their indelible stamp.

All too often, particularly in a culture where the handwritten word has been replaced by email and the heartfelt conversation with a text message, we fail to grasp the seriousness of life in all its brevity. We seem oblivious to the fact that at some point, tomorrow will be the last tomorrow and that all that we love that is living will either die before us or live after us.

Poet Mary Oliver, whose work seems to be infused with an uncanny comprehension of both life’s sacredness and its impermanence once said, “To live in this world, you must be able to do three things; to love what is mortal, to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it, and when the time comes to let it go, let it go.”

For me, Mary’s poetic wisdom reaches far beyond the words themselves. Her poem can be adopted as a guidebook for how one should live day by day, recognizing that everything that breathes is mortal and that all that is alive, including those plants, trees, and flowers that we don’t usually think of as sentient “beings,” will at some point die.

We are so busy trying to impress other people, building lives of success rather than significance, making money to purchase things that, much of the time, we don’t even need that the sacred portion of life remains behind a glass cabinet, like an antique vase we never touch. If only we were to slow down, open the cabinet and take out the vase, rather than allowing it to remain unused, accumulating dust.

It’s ironic how quick we often are to impose definitions on things, people, and experiences- yet, miraculously, we let life’s defining moments sweep past us without taking time to interpret them. It is only later, in retrospect, that we often become cognizant of the fact that something monumental happened to us, and because of the lapse between the past and present, deciphering the full import of those moments can be like translating a language we have never learned.

It has been said that in a world where anything seems to go, nothing remains sacred. Of course, for those who, like me, hold fast to an ongoing relationship with God, there will always be the sacredness of spirituality. But for those who have no faith and believe in nothing outside themselve, finding the sacred in today’s world might well be like trying to find a single diamond in a heap of cubic zirconia stones while blindfolded.

Yet, I wish to present the idea that the sacred still exists for everyone, and while I think God makes finding the sacred easier, it can also be found in the absorption, acknowledgement, and appreciation, of life’s defining moments.

We will never master the art of defining life itself, for it was never intended to be defined. And defining people isn’t our job but rather the assignment of a Higher Power. As for defining circumstances and situations, there are generally too many variables and perspectives involved to achieve an accurate conjecture.

But what we can define are moments- or, perhaps, they define us.

Peace & Blessings,

Sascha 🦉

This page and all written material at A Pilgrim’s Odyssey is written by Sascha Norris. (C) Copyright 2023-2024 by Sascha Norris. All Rights Reserved.

Image: Actress Emma Watson as “Rebel Belle,” a cover story for Vanity Fair, lensed by photographer Tim Walker; Stylist: Jessica Diehl; March 2017